Car boot nightmare

Hello! Welcome to my newsletter.

I’m Carly, an ADHD coach and in this newsletter I will be sharing with you how I handle everyday life with ADHD, but without ADHD medication. I will share tips, tools and strategies for you to introduce in to your own life so you too can manage your ADHD holistically.

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On Sunday, we did a car boot sale. In typical ADHD style I have LOTS of stuff and every now and then we do a bit of a clear out and do a few weeks on the car boot rounds! We sell our old junk, we haggle over 50p and if we’re lucky we come home with less crap and a little bit of cash in our pocket.

It was our first time at this particular car boot, it was an indoor one and given the terrible weather at the moment we thought this was a great idea. It was also a car boot we had initially heard about from watching a guy on YouTube. We used to watch his videos religiously. He goes around car boot sales hunting for retro toys, and we loved his stuff. Sadly he hasn’t posted in ages, and it never occured to me, that he might turn up….

And then it happened… we were still unpacking and there he is, walking past our stall.

So, obviously, my brain decided the best course of action was to scream at him.

"YOU HAVEN’T POSTED FOR AGES!"

Not a “hello.” Not a casual "Oh hey, love your videos!" Nope. Just pure, unfiltered, blurted-out chaos. And then, because my impulsivity knows no bounds, I ran up to him (I literally ran) to double down on the interaction.

FML.

It was immediately obvious that he was uncomfortable. He gave me a look that was so clearly saying “WTAF??” and I felt that deep, gut-punching RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) kick in. I tried to salvage it, explaining that I get excited when I see people I watch on YouTube, that we love his videos, etc. But no, the damage was done. He remained awkward, I remained mortified, and now this moment will live in my brain forever.

Impulsivity means my brain hits the "send" button before the message is even fully typed. The thought pops up, and instead of processing whether it's a good idea, I just do it. There's no pause, no filter, no moment of reflection. Just me, operating at full volume, shouting things at strangers.

Sometimes it works out! People laugh, the interaction is fun, and I walk away feeling like a charismatic genius. Other times… well, this happens.

And then comes the RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) to make it worse. Because the second I realised I’d made him uncomfortable, my brain immediately spiraled into, Oh my god, he thinks I’m weird. He probably thinks I’m annoying. I’ve ruined his day. I’ve ruined my day. Maybe I should delete myself from society.

The logical part of me knows that this guy probably forgot about it within five minutes (although he did have a GoPro strapped to his chest….😬😬) But the ADHD part? The ADHD part has decided this moment is now a core memory and must be revisited at 2AM every single night for the next decade.

Because that’s what it’s like to have ADHD, the intensity of our emotions is amplified and we feel. A moment of awkwardness doesn’t just sting, it burns a hole in your self-esteem. And while neurotypical people might brush it off (although it’s unlikely they would act this way in the first place!!), for me, it’s now locked in a vault labeled "REASONS I HATE MYSELF", which I will regularly open for no reason at all 🤡

At first, I just wanted a gate to appear to the Upside Down (we’ve just re-watched the whole of Stranger Things) which I could yeet myself into. I told myself I hated myself for it. But actually? That’s not healthy at all.

RSD makes it feel like a catastrophe, but if I take a step back for a second, what really happened? I got a bit overexcited, I was awkward, and the guy probably just walked away thinking, Well, that was a bit much. That’s it. That’s the whole thing.

What I actually need to do is sit with the discomfort, acknowledge that my emotions are valid, and then let it go. Because if I don’t, my brain will keep punishing me over and over for something that, in the grand scheme of things, really doesn’t matter.

So I am going to feel it, process it and then move on (and just pray he doesn’t add it to his YouTube channel 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼).

If you’ve ever had an ADHD-induced social disaster that still haunts you, I hope this story helps you know you’re not alone.

(Oh and for anyone who is interested we made £82 🤑🤑🤑)

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I hope you find what I write interesting, helpful and sometimes funny! And if you do, I'd love it if you shared what I am saying with others.

Applications are now open for coaching with me, if you would like to apply please follow this link: https://app.youform.com/forms/ccaga68h

Carly x